Sometimes I feel the desire to run away from the current.
I chose to bury myself in things to divert my thoughts from focusing on state that is now,
god gifted me with eyes to fully see and understand the world beyond the pixie dust vision held by those that are content with just going through the motions of life and not searching for understanding of the world and all of its complexities,
I do not have the capability of turning off this concern and burying myself in mindlessness and self gratification of the brain dead television, video games, or general materialism, that engulfs our current societal norm,
I constantly see the world for what it is including all its flaws and the destructive path that it is on,
I cannot see with the selfish eye of pure self indulgence and self gratification,
This selfishness is not just a selfishness of wanting things for oneself and materialism but also for the selfish desire for the world to be as one desires it, for everyone to fall into place of this personal gratifying vision that anyone individual has, and to do all that is possible to make others fit into this “mold”,
instead I see the world as the imperfect, holistic, evolving creature that it is,
as the full sum of its parts, and for how the imperfections work together to create the perfection that it is,
I also see the power of humanity, and how mans slowly developing brain has reached a mass of power capable of doing much good or much harm to the world,
what scares me with this is mans arrogance of believing it knows all that is to be known and using this to inspire it's futile attempts to control a world so much bigger and more complex and interwoven than it could ever understand,
this frightens me to my core as I see the evils in this arrogance and the destructive path that this points us on,
particularly with centrically focused power and the lack of checks and balances that a more individualistic and local based society would provide,
the move to this more world centric power where individuals are content with giving up their rights and powers to leaders who offer false promises of security and riches,
these individuals motivated or unmotivated out of apathy and lack of desire for taking the personal responsibility and effort that come with having freedom chose to give this freedom away to others as long as those others promise to take the responsibility that comes along with it,
those leaders willing to claim this power from this apathetic society are not the type of leaders who will lead free people and guide them towards enlightenment,
Rather they are that of those that have their own visions of the way the world should work and want to manage the mindless drones to fit into this vision,
They do not want individuals thinking for their selves and running their own lives, rather they want those that are willing to fall in line,
True leaders that encourage men to understand that liberty only comes from within do not make promises of benefits to be given from choosing them as their leaders,
Rather they work to inspire others to stand up and lead their selves,
to think for their selves, to educate their selves and to bring their selves to a less selfish and holistic understanding of the world and their place in it,
I don't see our world headed anywhere near this direction, rather farther away from ,
I see apathetic people tossing away their liberty to managers not leaders boasting false promises of security,
I see managers not leaders being chosen on pretty words and promises of materialistic benefits,
I see a pop culture hell bent on self destruction powered by this internal greed with no desire to pursue enlightenment,
this scares me at my core,
I have hid from these visions for most of my life,
burying myself in obsessions some that our current society would call "good" many they would call "bad" but all obsessions I used to distract myself from seeing the true understanding of this destructive path that we are on,
I have now more so come to understand that having these visions and this understanding does not mean that I am crazy and out of sync with reality,
Rather it shows that i am out of sync with a culture that has went so far astray,
this does not give me the right or the reason to continue on a self destructive and self gratifying path as “what the hell” society is on this hopeless path anyways,
it instead bestows upon me the responsibility to utilize the best of my capabilities of my understanding, knowledge, talents, and fortitude to change it,
I can no longer sit idly by and watch as the world marches towards this destruction,
as humanity marches away from freedom and towards tyranny,
as we destroy our earth chasing materialistic dreams of self importance,
as our citizens are convinced that some false two dimensional dichotomy viewpoint divides them into battling factions all the time distracting them from the real problems that we truly face,
I must devote my efforts to trying to educate, to trying to change, to trying to guide us out of this darkness,
I must focus my efforts on ripping off the blinders and clearing the remaining dust from our eyes,
So that we can all see with our own individual eyes the world for the beauty that it is, for the evils that exist, and for the beauty that can be...
Yes these are the things I awake thinking of at 2:30am,
You may think that this makes me a crazy person,
But truthfully ask yourself, you internal conscience, your true internal self who is crazy?
those who see these problems and desires to change them or those that think that this current state is just fine and somehow miraculously sustainable...
we have created one of the most hideous crimes that humanity has ever known that or robbing from the future....
I ask you to truly question your own soul as o whether you are on the right path and doing all that you can do to better the world and if not to challenge yourself to do more and reach your ultimate potential,
We only get one chance to make our mark on this world, is it time that we decide we want to leave it a better place, or do we say screw the future?